Upāsaka

Papañca is that stream of thoughts and conceptualizations about the world that can so easily overwhelm the mind. For example, there might be an event that we recently attended and enjoyed, and we can't stop thinking about it. We recollect it and imagine how we might end up in a similarly pleasant situation in the future.

This creates difficulty in the mind if things don't turn out the way we expect them to. Even if there is no difficulty, what is the fruit in imagining the way things could be when there's a good chance it won't turn out that way? It's wasted mental power that prevents us from fully exerting ourselves in the present moment. Not only does the future not align with our expectations, but our continual thinking about it hinders our success in the present.

There's a quick method to stop this flow of mental proliferation. If we catch ourselves thinking in terms of “this is mine”, “this is what I am”, or “I wish I had one of those”, or anything that could fall under the categories of craving, conceit, and views, we become aware of the kind of thinking that hurts more than it helps, and we learn not to engage with it.

With a clear mind that is free from mental proliferation, it becomes incredibly simple to enjoy the present and to exert our energy on activities that are actually happening, as opposed to those that are fabrications of the mind.

Over the course of time, views become straitjackets of the mind, preventing the mind from achieving liberation.

This happens when the mind clings to a view. For example, one might have the opinion that getting soaked in the rain is an annoying and unfortunate event. As one thinks this every time the event happens, a mental habit forms. This is what we call a view.

But that view does not align with reality, for getting soaked in the rain is neither good nor bad. It is what it is. Regardless, people still cling to the view, and they suffer as a result. This view is a straitjacket of the mind that prevents the mind from exploring other ways of seeing the situation. One might be able to perceive getting soaked in the rain as a fun and refreshing experience if it were not for the straitjacket.

To remove the straitjacket, one must carefully observe reality and always question whether a view is truly correct. This is difficult, as the view may be the result of years of mental conditioning. One must really get to the foundation of an experience and reexamine it. Only then does the straitjacket loosen up and possibly release its hold on the mind.

Building good habits and breaking bad ones is a must while practicing Buddhism. James Clear wrote a book on what he calls “atomic habits”, where he shows how the largest changes result from the smallest habits. For example, to become well-read, it might seem daunting that one must read so many books on so many different topics. If you read zero books today, it might seem impossible. However, forming the smallest possible reading habit, such as reading a chapter of a book each night, has unexpected results. One chapter might not seem like much, but in a year or two from now you'll be surprised at the number of books that you've read and the wisdom that you've gained.

There are a few areas of practice where atomic habits can help one follow a Buddhist way of life.

Meditation

One of the most common and most important forms of practice is meditation. Ajahn Chah is a well-known teacher of the Thai Forest Tradition, and he placed special emphasis on the meditation practice. People consider him to be a meditation master. That title—master—might seem out of reach for a lay person, but Ajahn Chah did not become a meditation master in one night. It took countless years of practice, and not surprisingly, breaking down those years into months, and months into days, and days into minutes, you arrive at a small habit that compounded over time into being a role model for so many people.

The atomic habit of meditation could be five minutes per day for a beginner, or thirty for an advanced meditator. A handful of minutes per day might not seem like much, and it's certainly no meditation retreat, but the small practice compounds over the course of a year into a mind that sees reality more clearly than before.

Mettā

Mettā is like benevolence. It's a disposition to do good and be kind towards others. Again, acting in this way all the time and towards everyone is an admirable goal, but it's unlikely to happen overnight. It can, however, be broken down into atomic habits that will eventually help realize this goal. For instance, one might choose a single person and determine to think of that person and interact with them keeping mettā in mind. After feeling comfortable with one person, the feeling of mettā can be allowed to expand to another person, and so on.

Sutta Study

There is no doubt of the benefit of studying the suttas, the original words of the Buddha, as they can help one understand the teachings from the perspective of those who wrote the texts. This new perspective allows one to apply the teachings more thoroughly and in a wider variety of situations that present themselves in daily life. Given that the Tipitaka is so large, it's another chance to develop atomic habits. You might read and analyze one sutta each week. Not hard at all, but at the end of a year you will have a deep understanding of fifty-two suttas, which is probably a lot more than you have right now.

Conclusion

Creating habits for meditation, mettā practice, and sutta study can be as easy as dedicating a few minutes each day, but the results feel significant over the course of time. The key is to form the smallest possible habit that makes sense in the context of the activity and stick to it—that's the whole point of making the habit atomic. It's supposed to be so small and so easy to do that it no longer feels out of reach.

At some point several years ago, I decided to quit social media because it did not add value to my life. The information that I received through social media could be found elsewhere, and the connections made were trivial. There was no place in my life for spending time on social media. Today, I can think of many ways that I would prefer to spend my time over scrolling through posts that serve only to distract from life rather than enhance it.

Over the past year, I've been working hard on building relationships in real-life, and for the most part I've succeeded. One thing I've noticed about building and maintaining real-life relationships is that they are a hundred times more valuable than anything you could do online. Interacting with someone only a handful of times in person will leave an impression much greater than if you were to interact with them fifty times through some messaging platform. This is because a personal interaction requires far more commitment than responding asynchronously to messages. By asynchronous I am referring to communication that does not require the sender and receiver to be available at the same time. You can respond to text messages at your convenience, for example, but you cannot do this in a face-to-face conversation.

Then there is the argument that real-life relationships come first, and then social media helps maintain those relationships. However, let's put some numbers to it to see how valuable those online interactions are. Now, I'm sure there is some study out there that has somehow measured this, but for now I'll throw out some relative numbers. Suppose that the value of an online interaction is 1. Then, a real-life interaction would be valued at 100. Given the sheer difference in magnitude, I have concluded that it's not worth putting time into those 1 value relationships. It's like working smarter instead of working harder. You can work three jobs to make extra money, but if you play the right cards and know the right people (from real-life interactions, of course) then you can make a hundred times more from a single job.

Some people might still say there is no harm in social media, and I agree. There is no harm, but there is an opportunity cost. Certain activities provide far more value than spending time on social media, so I see it as a rational approach to choose the activities of higher value. By the time I'm done with these activities, there is no time left for social media.

Choose the human connection which has immensely more value, discard the rest, and live well knowing that you are using your time in the most effective manner.

When we think of dukkha, we normally think of pain or suffering—something that doesn't happen often but hurts when it does happen. This could be the death of a loved one or the feeling that you failed to accomplish a goal.

But there is another translation of dukkha, unsatisfactoriness, that captures something that I call daily dukkha. These are small moments of dissatisfaction that you might perceive as normal but that can eat away at your overall happiness. For example, suppose you miss the bus by a few seconds. You might think to yourself, “if only I left the house a little bit earlier, then I wouldn't have to wait until the next bus!” It may be a small irritation, but when all these small moments of unsatisfactoriness are added up, you get something that you might truly call dukkha.

There is an approach to ensuring that these moments of dissatisfaction don't contribute to a decrease in your overall happiness. First, you notice when the thought arises in your mind. Going back to the bus example, you could notice the feeling of anger that you have at yourself for missing the bus. However, you don't have to feed it. Simply watch the thoughts without judging, and you'll notice that they cease just as they arose, and that you don't have to hold onto them. They cause you suffering, so why hold on? The trick is to let these thoughts arise in your mind as they do naturally without letting them take control of you. This is counter to the “cold turkey” approach, where you force yourself to not have such thoughts and push them out of your mind as quickly as possible, which may be effective in the short term but is unlikely to result in lasting changes.

The seventh of the Eight Precepts (attha-sila) says the following: I undertake the precept to refrain from dancing, singing, music, going to see entertainments, wearing garlands, using perfumes, and beautifying the body with cosmetics (emphasis mine).

Lay Buddhist practitioners will observe this precept on lunar observance days, as will those undertaking a meditation retreat.

Depending on your lifestyle, you may or may not be able to follow all the restrictions of the seventh precept on a daily basis. However, the part about abstaining from music is possible for most people and quite beneficial.

Music plays many roles in human culture, but there is one specific one that is best to refrain from, which is listening to music as entertainment, to distract the mind, or to escape reality.

When you wear headphones, listening to your favorites songs during your daily commute to work, whether by foot or by train, you miss out on listening to everything else around you. When you take off the headphones, other sounds are perceived as background noise. But if you listen carefully, there are sounds that you might not appreciate enough, like birds chirping in a specific manner or the sounds of rain cascading off a nearby roof. Listening to the same music over and over, you miss the chance to listen to other beautiful sounds that you might come to appreciate even more than your favorite music.

Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? This can prevent you from bringing your full attention to a task at hand, decreasing your performance. It's that constant reminder of the music you listen to that comes into your mind even when not listening to music, and it distracts your mind from whatever demands your full focus.

On a practical level, a habit of listening to music can cost you. Unless you download all your music for free or listen to FM radio (which by the way still costs you in terms of the time taken to listen to advertisements), you probably pay for a streaming service or buy the songs themselves. At $10 per month, Spotify may not seem like much, but taking into consideration all the other monthly bills you might have, it adds on to the pile while possibly not providing as much value as other services—after all, it's just entertainment and not necessary for a comfortable life.

Why am I writing this? About six years ago, I had a music listening habit. Rather than doing things simply because I've always done them, I like to revisit and question my habits regularly. Does this add value to my life? Is it worth the time I put into it? With music, the answer was no. To my surprise, I don't miss (actively) listening to music at all, considering how much I liked it before. In fact, I don't think I've turned on the radio in my car for several years.

One of the worst ways to spend your time if you are aiming to cultivate a focused, attentive mind is to browse the web. Browsing the web is the antithesis of a focused mind.

You're bored, you go on Facebook, click a few links, read (or skim) a few articles. You've exhausted your news feed, so you see what's trending on YouTube and end up watching a few (dozen) videos. You hop from site to site looking for entertainment or excitement, sometimes finding it, sometimes not. At the end of it all, you probably don't even remember what you read or what you watched, and you certainly won't remember it a few months from now. So why did you spend all that time browsing the web in the first place?

After reading a post on Cal Newport's blog about how he does not browse the web, I was inspired to do the same. A year later, I don't have the slightest inclination to browse the web, and the benefits have been immeasurable. For example, instead of wasting one hour by looking at websites, I filled up that time by reading a physical book. One hour a day may not seem like much in terms of browsing the web, but reading a book for one hour a day leads to some serious progress. You'll go through books faster than you thought you could, and it won't feel like you're spending too much time reading. And if you're like me, you will remember the books you read a year ago and the lessons you learned from them. Answer this question right now (if you have watched YouTube videos in the past year, thinking that you might gain some benefit): what is the topic of one video you watched about a year ago, and what did you learn from it? Can you even remember what you watched one year ago? It's much easier to do this with a book that has a compelling narrative and goes deep into a topic.

Practically speaking, if you find that you have plenty of time to browse the web, consider what other activities you could do during that time. What goals have you always wanted to accomplish, but never started working towards? Break down those goals into tasks that you can practice on a daily basis, during the time that you would usually browse the web. Within a year, you'll be surprised at the progress you have made.

What do you value most in your life? Is it your job, a good meal, or an unforgettable experience? Out of all the things in life, I value time the most. It's something that, once spent, cannot ever be reclaimed.

Think about it carefully. If you have $100, and you spend that $100 on something that you regret, there is always the opportunity to make that $100 again. You might even make $100 million.

On the other hand, if you have 100 minutes of free time to spend, and you spend those 100 minutes on something you regret, there's never going to be a chance to make those 100 minutes back. Sure, you could go to bed 100 minutes later, but no matter what you'll still be taking 100 minutes out of some activity in order to “make up” for lost time, so you're not really gaining those 100 minutes back.

Time is a person's most valuable asset. Spend your time wisely, and be aggressive in saying no to spending time on frivolous activities.

These are my notes from “The Dangers of Sensual Pleasures” by Ajahn Brahmali.

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People think they have to get rid of all pleasures to be good Buddhists and as a result suffer. This is because they read suttas which talk about Arahants.

If you try to be like an Arahant without following the path correctly, without practice, you will fail.

The Buddha doesn't say that sensuality is bad. He admits that there is some happiness in sensual pleasures.

For most people, sensual pleasure is all there is, so contemplating taking it away is scary.

How should one spend the Uposatha day so that it provides great benefit? Here's how not to spend it. You come to the monastery, keep the eight precepts. You spend the entire day awaiting the sensual pleasures of tomorrow. If you do this, there is no benefit. Focus on spiritual happiness instead. For example, think about your past generosity and kind actions.

Sensuality is a type of happiness that blocks you from achieving higher happiness. How? It binds you to certain habits and can lead you to breaking even basic morality. This is where the five precepts serve as signposts. If you're breaking any of the five precepts, you're headed in the wrong direction.

The benefit of being moral and kind is that you feel good about yourself. You feel a sense of peace.

Morality frees you from problematic mind states. Sensuality tends to drag you into problematic mind states. This is one danger of sensual pleasure.

The second way in which sensuality blocks the spiritual life is that sensual pleasures are about craving, which leads you away from contentment. They take you away from the beautiful potential of the spiritual path.

Because of sensual desire, we attach to the possessions we have in our lives. When they are taken away, there is pain. At the very least, they will be taken away when we die.

Sensual pleasures are like a debt. You have to pay it off eventually. The interest is the pain we experience.

Sensuality is like borrowed goods that must be given back eventually.

Everything you own is borrowed.

So what should we do? Throwing out all sensual pleasures won't solve the problem. Start by reflecting on these teachings. As you see the danger, your grip lessens. You start to practice spiritual happiness.

If you feel fulfilled, there is no need to crave for anything anymore. This is the point of the spiritual path. You see that the sensual realm is not important, and you let go of craving naturally. Eventually you get to a state where you are so content, so peaceful that sensuality makes no sense.

Sensuality is always about going out: hearing, seeing, etc. Spiritual happiness is about going inwards.

Along the path, don't throw out sensual pleasures all at once. Enjoy them to a limited extent until you don't see them as necessary anymore—this is when spiritual happiness has filled you up.

There are two kinds of love.

The first kind, fondness, is defined in The Century Dictionary as “Foolish tenderness; tender passion; strong or demonstrative affection.” When we are fond of someone, we feel attachment, thinking that the someone belongs to us. It's a possessive love that makes a distinction between “me” and “you” and is therefore not in line with reality. This distinction between “me” and “you” is incorrect because it suggests that there is a permanent entity associated with each individual, but really there is no such entity. There is no unchanging, permanent soul or essence in living beings. The end result of this kind of love entangled with fondness is always painful, for it is bound to cease one way or another and therefore cannot be relied on forever.

The other kind of love is mettā, often translated as loving-kindness, friendliness, or goodwill. It means directing one's concern towards the happiness of others, absent of any self-interest. It does not depend on a belief in a self; it does not depend on getting anything back. Through this kind of love, two people can form a true connection that looks beyond themselves. A true connection happens more easily when you don't create the other person in your mind. Creating a person in your mind is when you come up with a mental image of how a person is and hold onto that perception of them. When the reality of that person does not align with your perception, there will be confusion and quite possibly suffering. Therefore, if you love someone, don't create them in your mind. You'll be able to form a stronger, more beneficial connection that can end without anyone experience suffering or distress. Mettā can be hard to wrap your head around because it doesn't follow the traditional notions of love, but ultimately it's the preferable kind of love.