Upāsaka

When we do something bad, in the sense that we cause suffering to ourselves or others, we feel guilt.

We want to stop these bad actions, so the first thing we think of is the brute force approach. This entails saying to yourself that you'll never do that thing again. This approach may work temporarily, but it also may not work at all. Even if it works perfectly, the brute force approach does not change your fundamental understanding of the situation.

From a Buddhist point of view, learning from mistakes does not involve beating yourself up over failure. It means seeing that your actions cause suffering. If we see this, we won't perform those actions anymore. We won't make those mistakes anymore.

When people think about what it means to be kind and compassionate, they often think of helping others. But often the best way to help others is to help yourself first. If all goes well, you might not even need to directly help others—your exemplar behavior is all they need to be inspired to change.

Let's look at an example. Suppose you have a friend who is not social, and you believe that your friend could live a better life by being more social. Instead of trying to get your friend to meet other people, you meet other people in your friend's presence. Upon seeing the benefits, your friend will understand how to better him or herself without ever being forced into anything. He or she will genuinely want to change, which results in the least possible resistance. Compare this to the act of forcing someone to do something, where the end result is the other person feeling aversion to whatever is being forced upon them. In this case, genuine change cannot happen.

Here is another good example from a talk that Ajahn Chah gave:

“As for proclaiming the Dhamma, you don’t have to do very much. Some of the Buddha’s disciples, like Venerable Assaji, hardly spoke. They went on almsround in a calm and peaceful manner, walking neither quickly nor slowly, dressed in sober-coloured robes. Whether walking, moving, going forwards or back they were measured and composed. One morning, while Ven. Sāriputta was still the disciple of a brahmin teacher called Sanjaya, he caught sight of Venerable Assaji and was inspired by his demeanour. He approached him and requested some teaching. He asked who Venerable Assaji’s teacher was and received the answer:

‘The Revered Gotama.’

‘What does he teach that enables you to practise like this?’

‘He doesn’t teach so much. He simply says that all dhammas arise from causes. If they are to cease their causes must cease first.’

Just that much. That was enough. He understood. That was all it took for Venerable Sāriputta to realize the Dhamma.”

These notes are from Ajahn Brahmali's talk titled Sensual Pleasure Versus Spiritual Pleasure.

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The idea of neutralizing pleasure with pain is wrong view.

Follow the precepts, saying no to short term pleasure in favor of long term happiness and doing what is right.

Spiritual pleasure involves doing something that is kind, generous, or compassionate, resulting in joy.

There are two types of happiness. The first one is worldly happiness which you have limited control over. For example, you might have a partner in life but cannot prevent that partner from dying. In general, worldly happiness is uncertain.

The second type of happiness is spiritual happiness, and it is different because you usually have control over it. You have control over your own morality, virtue, and actions.

Sensual pleasure is tied up with craving. You're always trying to get more. Internal contentment is something that cannot be filled up with external things. It's when you say to yourself, “this time I will feel complete,” but you end up wanting that thing more because it didn't fill you up as you expected. On the other hand, spiritual pleasure makes you feel full as it is not tied to craving.

During deep meditation, with the five senses no longer pulling you in different directions towards worldly pleasures, spiritual happiness arises naturally.

In my previous post, I made a list of things that cloud the mind. That means the mind is in a state where it cannot make rational decisions or has perceptions that do not align with reality.

On the other hand, here are some things that I have found to increase mental clarity:

• Meditation
• An adequate amount of sleep
• Eating fruits and veggies
• Staying hydrated
• Exercising
• Lifting weights
• Solving mathematics problems (or other activities involving abstract thinking and the application of previous knowledge)
• Going on a walk in a forest
• Reading books
• Cold showers
• Writing and other creative activities

Mental clarity is wonderful. It's when you are aware of what is going on around you, without any feeling obscuring your perception of the truth. Certain activities, due to their nature, do not support such mental clarity, and instead cloud the mind. Here are some of them:

• Staying awake for too long
• Sleeping too late in the day
• Overeating
• Looking at pornography
• Steaming hot showers
• Aversion towards a person, object, or experience
• Alcohol, and many other drugs
• Lusting after the human body
• Anger
• Greed
• Earning money for the sake of earning money
• Social media
• Checking your phone many times a day out of boredom
• Masturbation
• Most entertainments
• News
• Tabloids
• Telling lies

In the Canki Sutta (MN 95), the Buddha explains to a knowledgeable Brahmin (a person of the the highest social class in traditional Hinduism) how someone can come to the definite conclusion that something is true. He explains that one must have conviction but wait to make the conclusion. Naturally, the Brahmin asks how one can can attain the truth, hoping to get a concrete answer from the Buddha.

The Buddha eventually answers the Brahmin's question: a person must purify themselves of the qualities of greed, aversion, and delusion in order to have a clear, unbiased mind that can understand the truth. However, the Brahmin is not satisfied at that and wishes to know the quality that is most helpful for accomplishing this task. The first quality that the Buddha gives is exertion, followed by qualities that support exertion.

The Century Dictionary defines exertion as “The act of exerting; the act of putting into motion or action; effort; a striving: as, an exertion of strength or power; an exertion of the limbs or of the mind.”

This is a helpful quality for success in almost any endeavor, including the cultivation of prajna (wisdom), dāna (generosity), and mettā (loving-kindness).

Because one makes an exertion, one finally attains the truth.

To exercise and make the body healthy, one must exert effort by taking time out of the day and working the muscles. To eat well, one must exert effort in finding, preparing, and consuming healthy food. To learn a new concept, one must push the mind beyond what it already knows.

In the meditation practice, this means actually practicing meditation. It's easy to watch a monk give a talk because it's a passive activity, unless you really put forth the effort to analyze the talk. To exert oneself in the meditation practice, it would be better to choose thirty minutes of meditation over hours of watching videos online of teachers giving talks.

It is easy to talk about doing something, but real progress arrives through exertion—putting that activity into motion even if it's difficult.

Even the largest of changes start from the smallest of actions. No one goes from zero to having a fulfilling social life in an instant. A fulfilling social life is composed of smaller pieces that create the whole. It's as simple as saying hello to someone you haven't seen in a while as you pass by. This could be once a day, or even less frequently. You could have one conversation per week with someone you don't usually talk to that much. Over the course of a year, that compounds to 52 meaningful conversations. If that's 52 different people, then that's a lot of people to know at a casual level. If fewer, then you probably made some deeper connections that will last a long time.

The same goes for the meditation practice. You might read of monks meditating all day and all night, or meditation retreats where people sit for hours upon hours. Though there are benefits to intensive meditation courses, small amounts of meditation every day compound to developing samatha (a calm mind) and vipassanā (insight).

At the minimum, 5 minutes per day is enough. I usually split my time between walking and sitting meditation, so that is a total of 10 minutes. It's not that hard to find 10 minutes per day (if it is, you might need to rethink your schedule), but the results of a consistent meditation practice are noticeable. Although I started with 10 minutes per day, I now average around 20 minutes per day. Throughout the rest of the day, I feel mental clarity as I recall the experience of the morning meditation.

If you think about it, 10 minutes per day equates to about 60 hours per year. That's more than 2 straight days of meditation! And that's on the low end.

There is so much information that you can read today, thanks to the internet. Blogs, magazines, articles, essays, books, discussions, comments, opinions, studies, facts, guides, news. All available in an instant.

It's overwhelming. You might feel that there is not enough time in the day to read everything. You might have bookmarked articles to read later. I know there's a few apps out there specifically for the purpose of saving web content for later reading.

Now try this. On the same day of the same month of last year, what do you remember reading? Can you remember the exact article or snippet of text? Probably not. Can you remember what lessons you learned or what value you gained from the reading? If so, then it is most likely a good book or a long piece of writing that left an impression on you. All the other stuff is long gone from your memory. So why did you waste time reading it in the first place?

Here's something to try: read less, but read deeper. Say no to most of the articles and links whose titles beg you to click on them. Even if you want to, say no. Only read that which truly aligns with your life purpose. It's impossible to read everything, but it is possible to read something deeply. This means that you have clear knowledge of why you want to read this particular piece. It's not just something to pass the time. This means that you fully engage with the writing, analyze it, critique it, and apply it. This takes concentration. You have to sit down and dedicate time to uninterrupted, distraction-free reading.

A year from now, what will you remember about what you read today? If you don't think it will add value to your life in the long term, maybe say no. Choose to read less but read deeper.

There are a number of good Buddhist discussion forums online, but Reddit is not one of them.

When I was first learning about Buddhism, I stumbled across a few relevant subreddits. I thought it was a good use of my time to browse these subreddits on a regular basis and even contribute to the discussions (or might I say commentary). I was wrong.

The very nature of Reddit does not align with the goals of those seeking to deepen their spirituality. So while it might be useful to glance at when you're first learning about Buddhism, the value drops off quickly.

Let's see why.

People ask the same questions. I remember seeing nearly identical questions week after week, which is unacceptable on a searchable forum where every previous post is still available.

People ask easy questions. Many questions could be answered with a little research, completely eliminating the need for asking such questions in the first place.

It is a content mill. Aside from the questions, it seems like some people post links just to gain a few upvotes. This kind of feedback loop encourages quantity over quality. It motivates people to post content they would have otherwise never posted, which is good for Reddit's business model but bad for those seeking truly valuable material to learn from.

Quotes, pretty pictures, anything short and sweet and easily digestible gets tons of upvotes. This is no surprise because this kind of content appeals to more people, even those who are not Buddhist.

There are a few gems, but you wouldn't waste time panning for a single fleck of gold in a huge river when there is a stream of flowing gold nearby, would you? In the same way, it is better to use your time online in places where you gain the most value.

What would be a good alternative?

I would recommend checking out Dhamma Wheel (Dharma Wheel for Mahayana and Vajrayana) and Dhammaloka.

The pace is slower on these forums. You won't have a feed of content to wake up to, but the discussions are deeper, the people are more interested, and the wisdom you can gain is far greater than anything you might find on Reddit.

Building a hospital in a developing country is wholesome and helps people. But no matter how many hospitals we build, we will never solve the world's problems.

World problems are simply experience. In ultimate reality, there is no good experience or bad experience. There is only experience.

The real problem is our perception of reality, so when we fight against something, we become part of the problem.

The only true solution to fix the world's problems is to fix our own minds. What does this mean? It means we strive to observe reality objectively. The practice of meditation allows this. It allows us to observe reality and see it for what it is.

Through the practice of meditation, we learn about ourselves. We learn how we react to experience. We work to purify our minds and free them from greed, anger, and delusion.

Once we see reality for what it is, the vast majority of “problems” in daily life cease to exist.